Sunday, December 8th, 2002
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2:08 am - it's just for fun...
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here i am , just for fun, you're pleasure, enjoy... you can hold me hug me rip me apart tell me its ok then fuck with my heart.
heh you wish
incomprehensable, this wave crashing onto this shore, maybe this is just a game, called life maybe i will draw a card...
i wish i was a star looking down on this insaity, my brain doesn't write the prettiest things, because of the rage that's taken over me i wait it out wade it through falling into this tranquil dream, maybe i can see this though? the light dims with every day that goes by like a candle flame.. and i can not prevent the inevitable feeling . image, the house is going to burn down because of it.
current mood: discontent
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Thursday, July 25th, 2002
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11:51 pm - subject zero
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here it goes. surrounded by something never there and here i stand untouched dazed at what has been survived
amazed at what hasn't been said.
current mood: hot
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Monday, April 1st, 2002
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11:48 pm
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Let me be your doll and rip me apart let me feel your pain your tear drops soak in deeper, and I need this feeling that you are secure,
make me your puppet you pull my strings and leave me hanging by a thread
let me be your want because you are my desire. and i will be your shadow.
loose me in the dark.
current mood: accomplished
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Thursday, March 21st, 2002
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3:41 pm - ///needed///
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Everybodys so platic, and everything isn't real.
take these emotions and throw them away, It doesn't matter how you feel.
I am wrapped up in brown paper and tied with twine.
I think It's all a waste this artificial world
I am automatic and robotic just like all the rest
In a feild of flowers, i only see the bees.
current mood: pessimistic
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3:35 pm - X Lithium Tears X
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Hazey glass painted blue sorrow fills inside for you and how i wish that this was justified how I wish that tears were the answer This seems more then a game now The feeling of more then the stars..
technicolor paint
in this jaded life.
under my shadey hand I hold this knife.
screaming ina room with no windows or doors, this killing pain that stabbs
and this emotion that feels so light.
i could fly.
current mood: anxious
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Saturday, March 16th, 2002
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8:07 pm
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broken flames ice turns to water and the echos fill i am alone again in your mind i hear your voice calling see your tears falling and all i can do is reach out for your hand you dont extend
current mood: artistic
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Thursday, March 14th, 2002
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4:13 pm - sands of time
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I can't see through these windows blue and cold rain clings to them, tears from the sky and all i can hear are the echos like footsteps through my head
Trees that grow bare and a river that never runs, it just remains dormant and stares at the velvet sky
this world you have helped me to create,
this world that knows no sorrow, because it is all the beauty in the world
twisted into one ever lasting image that resides within my mind.....
current mood: apathetic
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4:13 pm - sands of time
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I can't see through these windows blue and cold rain clings to them, tears from the sky and all i can hear are the echos like footsteps through my head
Trees that grow bare and a river that never runs, it just remains dormant and stares at the velvet sky
this world you have helped me to create,
this world that knows no sorrow, because it is all the beauty in the world
twisted into one ever lasting image that resides within my mind.....
current mood: apathetic
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Thursday, March 7th, 2002
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3:41 pm - Here I stand
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i fell alone, a green staircase that watches my every move as the clock ticks , echoing a disatorious chime, and the tears do fall like a tropical waterfall, and only sighs from what once was can be heard as everything calms, and i hear the screams of the dying memories the thoughts that were never thought, this grave stone picture. and your beautiful face xoxo
current mood: artistic
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Wednesday, February 20th, 2002
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12:35 pm
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its all a dream i hold inside. and the twisted staircase of love and life, how i hate falling how i hate missing your sweet face, and how your eyes light up whenever i recieve a hug. you mean the world to me, i wish you could understand..
current mood: artistic
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Sunday, February 17th, 2002
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7:35 pm - pictures on the wall.
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memory is a time, that i snapped up in a flash, a place in my thoughts, i float to get away. and here i see a world, filled with my colors. and my dreams, i wish i could take you there. show you what i feel inside. where you stand. learn to see through my eyes. into this world of candles that never die. the sun never rises. a world to live in the sky, on a cloud. then i fell to earth
current mood: pessimistic
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7:21 pm - nothing but a feeling
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Echoes ring... all i see are strangers faces. with smug grins. and all this is is a feeling inside. a picture that's been painted for me, in the dark of night. tears that have cracked with the pain time brings, a poem that doesn't have words. its nothing but a feeling i hold inside. this perfect creation, like a mirror that's been smashed. and these thoughts that swirl and twist, a feeling.. and all you are is a feeling, that never lied.
current mood: sad
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Tuesday, February 12th, 2002
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12:26 pm
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its just another day inside my head. and i cant find myself. its all a maze, that i can not get through, as blood raisn from this soul, tears fill and i wish i had one more day. maybe , someday... he will understand, that he is what i need, maybe someday, i will realise that he was always this way. and then deeper i will fall, down these spiral stairs. catch me, please, dont let me fall, again, and again. this way, <3 your a puddle of iridescents, your a green room, where i wait
current mood: apathetic
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11:48 am - another round
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here i go again, another spin around and around, im not surehow to fall, and where i will land, another day with you in mind and another day i cant passthe time, its just another spin around, so hard i do try to escape this desolate padded room in which i am sure i will drown in this sea of iridescents this promise that was promised through this deadly kiss and placed on the stone cracked and used, how smashed can one get? and when will it all be over? there really is no simple awnser to the questions i seek, and here is tand wondering if the truth is such a good thing in your eyes
current mood: confused
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Sunday, February 10th, 2002
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3:14 pm
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Lithium_barbie
current mood: amused
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Monday, January 28th, 2002
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9:29 pm - ...blaim me...
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in this fairy tale world i keep repeating... and i hear the footsteps growing louder... it wasn't supposed to end like this.. drplets of water fall to the floor. to familiar with the sight of breaking glass.
if i smashed a mirror, it would reflect my soul.
and even with all of this wonder...
the Chesire Cat always wins.
and tears dinah to peices.
all these imperfections, all these little flaws, managed to push this away. it's like a never ending wish. that never does come true.
all i needed was a real feeling, that obviously wasn't met. the giving never recieve, and the recieving dont stop taking.. and now there is nothing left. but an empty dream, your empty wish.
you have given up on.
and only disposable trash remains
current mood: artistic
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Thursday, January 17th, 2002
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11:52 am - forget
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shallow shores, i watch the sun set on the day, it taunts me andteases me with the promise of tomorrows sunrise, but perhaps i will fail to look upon it in the morning, and perhaps it looks back at me with adoring eyes no more. and so i ponder upon the true secrets that are lurking behind your beautiful eyes. i want to reach to you, but i grow scared and huddle in the corner. with tears that cry a river, for you, i can't handle your rejection. so i watch from afar waiting for the day you take my hand and promise me tomorrow with you
current mood: contemplative
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Sunday, December 23rd, 2001
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10:11 pm
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wake up, insanity is a dream. cool tone. simplex... twised. a knife cutting in. taking off your mask always hurts. plastic, is a fantisy. and you're just playing games with me. kick me in the face. and blood is what i use to apint you destroy me inside.
current mood: artistic
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Wednesday, December 19th, 2001
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4:04 pm
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seperation rising, what is this drowning inside? heaing voices that call for insanity, and plea for the sane to fall. how many bells have rang, in this time a moment.. which does not exist. throw me up and let me fall. down the staircase, that never ends. a blood red sky clouded my vision today and now all i can feel is pain. the ticking of the clock stills.. and we all hang in the moment that was never there
current mood: lethargic
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Monday, December 10th, 2001
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3:24 pm - i'm loosing my taste
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things are deranged. broken into peices on a floor. misunderstanding, I'm standing under you. hiding behind your eyes. dancing on a dream. when it all comes crashing down down down. this fantasy we've had comes in tears. would you ever loose me? because i have no purpose. and whatever this story tells... comes crashing down down down
current mood: melancholy
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