Sunday, December 8th, 2002
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2:08 am - it's just for fun...
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here i am ,
just for fun,
you're pleasure, enjoy...
you can hold me hug me
rip me apart tell me its ok
then fuck with my heart.
heh you wish
incomprehensable, this wave
crashing onto this shore,
maybe this is just a game,
called life
maybe i will draw a card...
i wish i was a star looking down on this insaity,
my brain doesn't write the prettiest things,
because of the rage that's taken over me
i wait it out wade it through
falling into this tranquil dream,
maybe i can see this though?
the light dims with every day that goes by
like a candle flame..
and i can not prevent the inevitable
feeling . image,
the house is going to burn down because of it.
current mood:  discontent
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Thursday, July 25th, 2002
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11:51 pm - subject zero
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here it goes.
surrounded by something never there
and here i stand untouched
dazed at what has been survived
amazed at what hasn't been said.
current mood:  hot
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Monday, April 1st, 2002
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11:48 pm
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Let me be your doll
and rip me apart
let me feel your pain
your tear drops
soak in deeper,
and I need this feeling
that you are secure,
make me your puppet
you pull my strings
and leave me hanging by a thread
let me be your want
because you are my desire.
and i will be your shadow.
loose me in the dark.
current mood:  accomplished
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Thursday, March 21st, 2002
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3:41 pm - ///needed///
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Everybodys so platic,
and everything isn't real.
take these emotions
and throw them away, It doesn't matter how you feel.
I am wrapped up in brown paper
and tied with twine.
I think It's all a waste
this artificial world
I am automatic and robotic just like all the rest
In a feild of flowers, i only see the bees.
current mood:  pessimistic
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3:35 pm - X Lithium Tears X
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Hazey glass
painted blue
sorrow fills inside
for you
and how i wish that this was justified
how I wish that tears were the answer
This seems more then a game now
The feeling
of more then the stars..
technicolor paint
in this jaded life.
under my shadey hand
I hold this knife.
screaming ina room with no windows or doors,
this killing pain
that stabbs
and this emotion that feels so light.
i could fly.
current mood:  anxious
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Saturday, March 16th, 2002
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8:07 pm
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broken flames
ice turns to water
and the echos fill
i am alone again
in your mind
i hear your voice calling
see your tears falling
and all i can do is reach out
for your hand
you dont extend
current mood:  artistic
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Thursday, March 14th, 2002
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4:13 pm - sands of time
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I can't see through these windows
blue and cold
rain clings to them, tears from the sky
and
all i can hear are the echos
like footsteps through my head
Trees that grow bare
and a river that never runs, it just
remains dormant and stares
at the velvet sky
this world you have helped me to create,
this world that knows no sorrow,
because it is all the beauty in the world
twisted into one ever lasting image
that resides within my mind.....
current mood:  apathetic
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4:13 pm - sands of time
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I can't see through these windows
blue and cold
rain clings to them, tears from the sky
and
all i can hear are the echos
like footsteps through my head
Trees that grow bare
and a river that never runs, it just
remains dormant and stares
at the velvet sky
this world you have helped me to create,
this world that knows no sorrow,
because it is all the beauty in the world
twisted into one ever lasting image
that resides within my mind.....
current mood: apathetic
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Thursday, March 7th, 2002
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3:41 pm - Here I stand
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i fell alone, a green staircase that watches my every move as the clock ticks , echoing a disatorious chime,
and the tears do fall like a tropical waterfall,
and only sighs from what once was can be heard as everything calms,
and i hear the screams of the dying memories
the thoughts that were never thought,
this grave stone picture.
and your beautiful face
xoxo
current mood: artistic
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Wednesday, February 20th, 2002
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12:35 pm
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its all a dream
i hold inside.
and the twisted staircase of love and life,
how i hate falling
how i hate missing your sweet face,
and how your eyes light up whenever i recieve a hug.
you mean the world to me,
i wish you could understand..
current mood: artistic
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Sunday, February 17th, 2002
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7:35 pm - pictures on the wall.
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memory is a time,
that i snapped up in a flash,
a place in my thoughts,
i float to get away.
and here i see a world, filled with my colors.
and my dreams,
i wish i could take you there.
show you what i feel inside.
where you stand.
learn to see through my eyes.
into this world of candles that never die.
the sun never rises.
a world to live in the sky, on a cloud.
then i fell to earth
current mood: pessimistic
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7:21 pm - nothing but a feeling
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Echoes ring...
all i see are strangers faces.
with smug grins.
and all this is is a feeling inside.
a picture that's been painted for me, in the dark of night.
tears that have cracked with the pain time brings,
a poem that doesn't have words.
its nothing but a feeling i hold inside.
this perfect creation,
like a mirror that's been smashed.
and these thoughts that swirl and twist,
a feeling..
and all you are is a feeling, that never lied.
current mood:  sad
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Tuesday, February 12th, 2002
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12:26 pm
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its just another day inside my head.
and i cant find myself.
its all a maze, that i can not get through,
as blood raisn from this soul,
tears fill and i wish i had one more day.
maybe , someday...
he will understand, that he is what i need,
maybe someday, i will realise that he was always this way.
and then deeper i will fall, down these spiral stairs.
catch me, please, dont let me fall, again, and again.
this way,
<3
your a puddle of iridescents,
your a green room,
where i wait
current mood: apathetic
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11:48 am - another round
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here i go again, another spin around and around,
im not surehow to fall, and where i will land, another day with you in mind and another day i cant passthe time,
its just another spin around,
so hard i do try to escape this desolate padded room
in which i am sure i will drown
in this sea of iridescents
this promise that was promised through this deadly kiss
and placed on the stone
cracked and used,
how smashed can one get?
and when will it all be over?
there really is no simple awnser to the questions i seek,
and here is tand wondering if the truth is such a good thing
in your eyes
current mood:  confused
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Sunday, February 10th, 2002
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3:14 pm
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Lithium_barbie
current mood:  amused
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Monday, January 28th, 2002
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9:29 pm - ...blaim me...
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in this fairy tale world i keep repeating...
and i hear the footsteps growing louder...
it wasn't supposed to end like this..
drplets of water fall to the floor.
to familiar with the sight of breaking glass.
if i smashed a mirror, it would reflect my soul.
and even with all of this wonder...
the Chesire Cat always wins.
and tears dinah to peices.
all these imperfections, all these little flaws,
managed to push this away.
it's like a never ending wish.
that never does come true.
all i needed was a real feeling, that obviously wasn't met.
the giving never recieve,
and the recieving dont stop taking..
and now there is nothing left.
but an empty dream,
your empty wish.
you have given up on.
and only disposable trash remains
current mood: artistic
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Thursday, January 17th, 2002
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11:52 am - forget
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shallow shores,
i watch the sun set on the day,
it taunts me andteases me with the promise of tomorrows sunrise,
but perhaps i will fail to look upon it in the morning,
and perhaps it looks back at me with adoring eyes no more.
and so i ponder upon the true secrets that are lurking behind your beautiful eyes.
i want to reach to you, but i grow scared
and huddle in the corner.
with tears that cry a river,
for you,
i can't handle your rejection.
so i watch from afar waiting for the day you
take my hand
and promise me tomorrow with you
current mood:  contemplative
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Sunday, December 23rd, 2001
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10:11 pm
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wake up,
insanity is a dream.
cool tone.
simplex...
twised.
a knife cutting in.
taking off your mask always hurts.
plastic, is a fantisy.
and you're just playing games with me.
kick me in the face.
and blood is what i use to apint
you destroy me inside.
current mood: artistic
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Wednesday, December 19th, 2001
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4:04 pm
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seperation rising,
what is this drowning inside?
heaing voices that call for insanity,
and plea for the sane to fall.
how many bells have rang,
in this time a moment..
which does not exist.
throw me up and let me fall.
down the staircase, that never ends.
a blood red sky clouded my vision today
and now all i can feel is pain.
the ticking of the clock stills..
and we all hang in the moment that was never there
current mood:  lethargic
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Monday, December 10th, 2001
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3:24 pm - i'm loosing my taste
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things are deranged.
broken into peices on a floor.
misunderstanding,
I'm standing under you.
hiding behind your eyes.
dancing on a dream.
when it all comes crashing down down down.
this fantasy we've had comes
in tears.
would you ever loose me?
because i have no purpose.
and whatever this story tells...
comes crashing down down down
current mood:  melancholy
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lithium_barbie's journal